I don’t expect you to fully understand my story, all I ask is you read it with an open mind and open heart. May God bless you and keep you.
I grew up in a chaotic house and lifestyle. I can recall my parents fighting a lot, doors slamming, yelling, and ultimately my parents separating. In my heart I knew my mom hated my dad drinking all the time and partying. I grew to hate it too. As a child I felt that my dad’s drinking was the cause of our family's demise. I swore to never be like him EVER. He now has cancer of the liver. In their separation I went through many ups and downs and trials. I always felt lost, scared, and unsure. There was no security of any. In the 7th grade my parents got back together and we began living together. My dad’s drinking began to get out of control again and my parents began to relive the insanity that separated our family in the first place.
Once I started junior high, I met my best friend Kevin. He got me addicted to skateboarding and instead of being home I escaped for hours skating until I was forced to be home. On many Wednesday nights Kevin’s parents would take us to Calvary Chapel Downey where I was first introduced to the Gospel. The following summer I went to Big Bear with my uncle. It was then with my cousin that I experienced the sensation of getting drunk and smoking weed. I failed to remember how I swore I’d never be like my dad. The first time getting drunk I got very sick for a week straight. I cried to God for help and swore I’d never do it again. Upon recovering, I immediately drank again. My power of choice was gone. All that was left was self-destruction.
For many years after that I began playing music in punk bands and living to please only myself. Before I was even 21 years old I had dragged myself and my loved ones through the mud and hell. Eventually I was introduced to rehab and recovery. And although that provided me a time away from the party, it didn’t provide me the power and direction that I needed to overcome. No matter how much I wished and tried to change myself, the worse I seemed to get! Then my life grew so dark and I remember the people at church talking about how Jesus saves. I also remember in recovery how those people would tell me to surrender to God, but still rejected the idea, I ran. I always felt like God was coming after me.
In the year 2007 in the last week of March, I found myself incarcerated and with nothing left to live for and it was then I realized that God was with me and that I needed Him. I didn’t realize that it took not having anything to realize that God was all I needed and have ever needed. I got on my knees and asked Jesus to come into my heart, be the Lord of my life, to remove my desire to drink, use drugs, and to be self-destructive. I told Him that I could not do life alone and I needed His help. Since that day all kinds of remarkable things have followed. The Holy Bible became more than just a book. It spoke to me! My desire to drink and use drugs has been lifted .
I have been delivered for 14 years now. My prejudice towards people vanished and everyone became children of God. The hate I had for my parents was removed. But most of all, my hate for the world and the people in it has changed into me loving God, His people, this world and the new life He’s given me. If you asked me if I think I deserve this new life, I’d say no way. I am saved by Grace and I pray I never get what I deserve. Life isn’t perfect but it’s better than its been ever, thanks be to God. Thank you for listening.
Your Brother is Christ, Corey D.