How we met Jesus.
Jesse and Leah Roberts
Leah and I were both raised in small towns in Central Kansas. We had church upbringings, but both stepped into passionate relationship with Jesus in our college years. We got to know each other leading a team of missionaries in Thailand, working to get women out of the sex industry there. It took me a few years after our summer overseas, but I finally got my head on straight and asked her if she'd be my gal. She said yes (Praise the lord!). We've been following the Holy Spirit, making music from the scriptures, and doing ministry in our home ever since. We've been in Kansas City for seven years now, have three little ones (twins Rufus and Ada who are 6, and Phineas who's 3), and live in a ministry house full of college art students. Every day our eyes are opened more and more to the great mercy, love, and power of the Lord!
What can I say about a girl that asked Jesus into her life as a tween in the 90s?
Ezekiel 22:16 "When you have been defiled in the eyes of the nations, you will know that I am the Lord."
To keep me free, He has to constantly consume me when I need it.
It is a complete gift to have grown up walking through life knowing Jesus is mad about me and how patient He is every-single-day. In a nutshell, I learned so far that I have been a jerk to him and never deserved His loving mercy, grace, and salvation. I'm going to repeat myself because this is important, Jesus gave up His perfect untarnished life for me, as a gift, in place of my sin, so I can live E-T-E-R-N-A-L-L-Y/FOREVER with him! So when I found this out at 9 years old, I snatched Him up! I'm a sucker for someone saving me from hell and is willing to walk with me daily, what more can a girl ask for? What a dream come true! I don't deserve it but He did this anyway. The first step is selfish, in order to get out of the selfishness. It's ok to be saved by Jesus. He came to the earth for that reason. When I did that, then I could be part of His perfect plan. The selfishness slithers off me daily when I get washed in God's Word.
So... I naturally take on the land of the giants because that's what I grew up around. I believe God shapes any mess into His perfect plan. Sadly, not many people have gone for that and were not willing to give Him honor. It shocks me EVERY TIME like it never happened before. I may be getting the hang of it now. I'm not typically offended by the result but when there's a gang rolling up at once, it makes me say hmm. I do love Psalms 1! And oh, Ezekiel 22:16 "When you have been defiled in the eyes of the nations, you will know that I am the Lord." That'll make you say hmm too, right? What is she talking about?!
I can tell you when you hear that I grew up in a Christian household there is a lot of dabbling in and out of sin. Eventually BAM, I'd finally get the point and leave the land of babble years later. As I read through the Old Testament, I can see how I can be easily placed in with the Isrealites in each chapter and how God had to lovingly press reset with his many attempts to draw me back into His arms of love with each season in my life. I don't think it's any different than an adult accepting the Lord, we will always deal with temptation and sin in this lifetime.
Ok, let us rewind the reel to 1990 my dad went with our neighbor to The Summer Harvest Crusade and accepted the Lord and then he told us (the family) about Jesus and immediately he stopped drinking beer and we were on the routine of Sundays and Wednesday night bible studies year round. That's the quick version of how I remember it. That was one of the best things I could ask for. One other thing pops into my mind. I remember being in the third grade Wednesday night study classroom and watching the 70's version of the Left Behind movies, my life was never the same. Every single night I prayed to not get left behind. I'd have nightmares of being at church in the long hallway running to find my family but they were gone. So the upcoming summer before going to 4th grade we went to the Summer Harvest Crusade, I made my public stand there, it was official and all knew that I had Jesus in my heart. As a 10 year old, I got up and walked by myself to pray to Jesus. I felt like I was floating on clouds all the way down the Anaheim Stadium steps to the field for the altar call to accept Jesus into my heart, officially. It was surreal! I've kinda always been that girl that told people about Jesus, even in my 3rd grade class at public school. Saying Jesus' name is very exciting!
I did fall a lot for peer pressure because I am saved but still sin, that's what happens until one day I am transformed into my new body when I see Jesus face to face. I always knew, I don't need to blame anyone for any sins I commit, I can sin very well all by myself. It's always my choice. No matter who I am around, it is my fault completely for falling short of perfection. Until 2010 I unintentionally let that idea go when I got married because I let the little birdies eat away at what I had hidden in my heart by not sitting at Jesus' feet crying to Him and obeying His words. I started to willingly dabble again when I should have been allowing time alone falling in love with Jesus through this new season in my life. Life got LOUD, pieces of me got torn off when my soul mate kept tearing away from me and abandoning me, I was crushed but I never cursed God. So instead I was choosing to take the pain and do things on my own because I didn't get it yet. I wouldn't get it for a very long time as a matter of fact! I didn't know I didn't have to take that pain, Jesus was waiting for me to cast my cares to Him completely. I do wish I had never gone to the land of babble for false security but directly to Jesus to heal and teach me His Truths and promises. I can pinpoint the exact moment and place this should have happened but I didn't give my all to Jesus to complete me. I had no idea that I still had to be washed by the Word intensely when my husband wasn't helping me and how I needed to be washed by Jesus' Word solely by Him and not quench the Holy Spirit. I do now (for the most part, I haven't perfected it)! This was me taking on the land of the giants moment again. I thought everyone that said they love Jesus just went to Him. It was a shocker to realize I still had to follow Jesus alone, even when I was married. I could not get past this for my entire marriage. This was the beginning of me being the jerk to Jesus.
By God's mercy and grace He heard me and remembered my words to Him as a tween, 'Lord don't ever let me succeed if it isn't for your glory'. He clearly agreed to that, I can tell you the many instances when He slammed doors closed, said wait, and when He put it in the heart of others to leave me dead on the door steps. I am assuming since I didn't get it right going to Him when I was first married, He had to allow me to go through the land of babble to get me here today. That was my mountain of curses. Throughout my walk with the Lord, He always loved me though and has been patient with me, He just wants me to make Him my forever First Love. I got to experience what it is, like Jesus did, to not be loved and be used many times. None of it had to happen but because of my stepping away from his blessings by being disobedient to His clear Words that He gave me in the bible, I got to experience the dreaded dryness walking away from the mountain of blessings. One thing I always knew though, is the mountain of curses has an altar to ask for forgiveness.
I am taking His Words serious today and choosing the mountain of blessings. I thank everyone who spoke the truth to me even though it hurt me, there weren't many at all, I'm sure I can count with one hand and the winning credit goes to the Holy Spirit... that's all I ever needed... and a few whispering friends, that He spoke through. One of my writings in my 20s says "When I speak, thank you for listening, when I'm wrong please disagree, even if it hurts me. Don't agree just to give me comfort". Like the Isrealites not listening, God had to end my time in the land of babble with non believers shaming me deceitfully. It's ok, like the Old Testament stories went, God will take vengeance and I will pray that they find Salvation. I was a woman who chose to give the giants the benefit of the doubt and if it leaves me like a whore left dead at the door then so be it. I'm not going to do that anymore though. You know, stand around with people who hate Jesus and His people. When I see it spoken to me by Jesus himself through the Holy Book, it just makes so much sense to stay away from dabbling with darkness.
I know everyone is annoyed hearing me say that I was one of the people quarantined two years before the entire world was, but I was. I went to the most crazy Christian girls during this time who read thru the bible together, joined a bible study group online and started reading thru the bible with a pastor on YouTube (still am going through the bible with Him). I went to church off and on during this time at first. I was in the middle of a divorce and I thought a man would rescue me because he said he would. I finally was shown during my time with Jesus that He is the one that I had been looking for to complete me. It's written through all my poetry, I didn't even know what I was saying to myself at the time. He was always here even before I was born, during my life's obstacles,, and even when my life here is complete. I will be with him forever, face to face. Therefore, I don't have an ending to this testimony because my life's every step is my story to glorify Him... while I read through His story, the bible, the words Jesus has to speak to me through. I don't know what else to say but I sure am the oddest of them all but I will gladly keep following God's Word each step through this dark world. This page is sharing that I want to follow God's Words and I am being accountable daily. I am glad he let me leave the land of babble and let others leave me so I can learn to be content with whatever he has given me, and know obedience before sacrifice is true success. Did I even tell you how I met Jesus? Did I pinpoint it? To pinpoint it today, I declare that I am to meet with Him every single day, every ticking moment until death do us together face to face forever.
When I stop being washed by the Word I start being stinky, sending forth a dark exhibit for all to see that highlights dead things. So when you see that don't be scared to correct me. I only wish for others to help me by speaking directly to me. I welcome that, I appreciate it, even from people who hate me for no reason. Something else I learned recently is yes it is about Jesus' grace but it is also about staying pure and being sensitive to sin. Mostly, to pull people out of the fire and not sit around with them. I can only hope for them to do the same for me...but I won't count on it, that is the Holy Spirit's job and my job to be sensitive to Him. Farewell, now it's time to leave the land of babble again, enjoy the pages on this website that highlight God's Word, Jesus. With all the agape love I have, Kim Romero